Loneliness
by Litayoliechi
Summary: When Kagome returned home and had disappeared from Inuyasha's life for over a year, how did she feel being stuck in one time? Did the darkness haunt her? What of her memories?
a/n: Hey all. It has been a while. Here is a new one-shot songfic I wrote while riding across Europe this winter. I hope you enjoy. The song can be found here

"Good night mom!" Kagome's happy voice rang down the stairs as she padded up the stairs to her room.

"Good night dear." Her mother answered gently as she watched Kagome go up the stairs. While her tone sounded happy and carefree, her eye were full of worry.

"Don't worry so much. Kagome is a strong girl. It's been 2 months now. She is still adjusting." Grandpa said as he patted her arm, and heading out to finish some nightly chores. Heaving a sigh, mother turned around and finished preparing the school lunches for tomorrow.

 _I miss your soft lips._

 _I miss your white sheets._

 _I miss the stretch of your unshaven face on my cheek._

 _And this is so hard cuz I didn't see that you were the love my of life and it kills me._

Kagome closed her bedroom door softly and kept her back pressed tightly against it. Her eye were squeezed tightly closed.

Night. It was her enemy now. One would think after 2 months she would be doing better, but she wasn't. Sleeping still tortured her each night. Hell, life tortured her daily. But night was the worst.

 _I see your face in strangers on the street. I still say your name when Im talking in my sleep._

Opening her eyes, she was determined to not give into her sadness. It was her choice to come home. She had to live with this decision, but how it hurt. Was he as sad as she is? Would she ever know? Would this pain ever leave her or was it her punishment? A tear made its way slowly down her cheek.

 _In the lime light I play it off fine but I can't handle it when I turn off my night light._

Raising her hand, she wiped the tear away, knowing it wasn't the last of the night. Everyone at school asked about her health and her boyfriend. She told them she was fine and that she had to leave him when she moved home again permanently. They have stopped asking, focusing on more current events. Laughing and chatting were the main aspects of the mask she wore daily. She couldn't really move on. Every night she was pulled back into the past. Every night she had to pay the price of true love. Reaching up she touching her light switch, knowing what the darkness held.

 _But I can't handle it when I turn off my night light._

Darkness surrounded her. Taking a deep breath, she walked to her bed like a person walking to the noose. Would tonight be different? She hoped but doubted it all at the same time.

 _They say that true love hurts. While this could almost kill me. Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Kagome willed her breathing to be steady as the tears started to fall. As her mask started its nightly cracking. No. She wasn't happy to be home and safe. She missed him so much she could feel it like a knife in her chest. And every night he would come and haunt her, taunt her..

 _The life is fading from me while you watch my heart bleed. Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

Reaching behind her, Kagome pulled her pillow to her lap. Laying down wasn't possible yet, this she knew. She had to wait for the sadness to take the ability to sit up from her. With one last soft breath her hands brought the pillow to meet her head as the tears fell faster. Her lungs betrayed her moments later as the first sob ripped itself from her chest and buried itself in the moist pillow. More sobs followed the first. In the back of her mind Kagome cursed her traitorous body. Why wouldn't it listen to her? Why did this sadness steal control over her body? Why couldn't she just go to sleep peacefully one night without this new tradition of pain?

 _Alone._

The first image flickered in her mind's eye as her mind joined her body in betraying her.

Sliver hair. Pointed, ever-moving ears. Golden eyes. A flash of red as he ran by. When had the pillow taken on his woodsy scent?

 _Remember the time we jumped the fence when the Stones were playing and we were too broke to get in. You held my hand and they made me cry while I swore to god it was the best night of my life._

A memory hit her hard in the gut. New Years in her era.

He always disliked being here and she completely understood. It was so loud and smelly for him. But that one day he agreed to come home with her. They had seen fireworks a few weeks earlier and she kept talking about how amazing New Years fireworks in her era were. He had been interested and agreed to take her. They had been late getting to the area, and they had no good view. She had been disappointed, but in a moment of his normal stubbornness, he refused to go home. Instead, with her on his back, he jumped and climbed Tokyo Tower until they were above the surrounding buildings. Resting her head on his shoulder, they watched the color explosions from the best seat in the city and had no worries.

More tears, more sobs. Why had she left him?

 _Or when you took me across the world we promised this would last forever. But now I see. It was my past life. A beautiful time._

An image of him teaching Shippo how fish, or in his words, how to be a good male who provides. Shippo had tried so hard. His golden eyes twinkled with pride when Shippo caught his first fish. Together they gutted the tiny fish and cooked it. It energy in the group was the same as a feast.

 _Drunk off of nothing but each till the sunrise._

Another memory. Sitting on a small hill watching the sunset with all of her friends. He was standing behind her, on guard. Also on guard. She had asked if he liked the subset and he had said no. There more important things to watch than the silly sunset. He was always protecting her and never relaxed. All he wanted was for her to safe and happy. And what did she do in return? Abandoned him!

 _They say that true love hurts. While this could almost kill me. Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone. The life is fading from me while you watch my heart bleed. Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

More sobs tore themselves from her body. When had she laid down? She was never sure anymore. This was her new nightly routine. Pain until sleep overtook her. Regrets until she couldn't handle it anymore. Pulling her knees into the pillow while she laid on her side, she waited for the nightly torture to be over as her body gave into the internal pain and emptiness.

 _It was my past life._

Silver hair blowing in the breeze.

 _A Past life. A beautiful time_.

The glint of tessaiga as he stood guard over her in numerous battles.

 _Drunk off nothing but each other until the sunrise_

Them laughing at nothing and everything at the same time.

 _Till the sunrise._

His black hair as it slowly seeps into the silver, changing but leaving him just as beautiful.

 _Till the sunrise_

His burst of power when the sun rose as he fought to protect her even when he was weakened by the moon.

 _They say true love hurts. While this could almost kill me. Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

Closing her eyes as the sobs start to slow down, Kagome can almost feel his hand on her head. She can almost hear him telling her to stop crying and be stronger. He knew she could be stronger than this. Taking a deep breathe, Kagome clung to his voice as her body gave into her exhaustion as it has ever night for the last 2 months. Maybe tonight her dreams won't haunt her with his golden eyes..

 _Young love murdered that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone._

Darkness surrounded Inuyasha like a blanket as he sat with his back against the well.

"Stop crying wench...you know I hate it when you cry and there is nothing I can do to stop are stronger than that. If you are sad, how am I supposed to feel? You're my happiness...please don't cry anymore.." He whispered into the night air as the wind slowly stopped carrying her heart breaking sobs to his ears from the well. Resting his head against the well's edge, he let sleep overtake him. "You aren't alone..."


End file.
